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"IDDaVo - Now has a Toy Yoda" (iddavo) 04/30/2014 at 18:55 • Filed to: Lancia

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I wrote a research paper on the history of Lancia and was wondering if someone more smarter than I could make some grammatical fixes and what not. Here's the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! to view I could post the link to edit if necessary. Any help or suggestions would be appricated. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

55Buick, Oversteer Scientist > IDDaVo - Now has a Toy Yoda 04/30/2014 at 16:43

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Any chance you could make a PDF? It'll be easier for me to edit that way.

IDDaVo - Now has a Toy Yoda > 55Buick, Oversteer Scientist 04/30/2014 at 17:09

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I think I got it.

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > IDDaVo - Now has a Toy Yoda 04/30/2014 at 18:58

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Oh the irony...

was wondering if someone more smarter than I could make some grammatical fixes and what not

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > IDDaVo - Now has a Toy Yoda 04/30/2014 at 19:11

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Just a few things I saw. Wikipedia is generally frowned upon as a source. I had trouble deciphering what your thesis was. The closing paragraph has a few grammatical errors and I think it should be lengthened to allow you to brings things together better. Also, I would add in more about what happened in the 1980s and beyond: the Beta's issues, collapse of the brand's reputation, etc.

Sn210 > IDDaVo - Now has a Toy Yoda 04/30/2014 at 19:34

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Here's some notes for you. Interesting topic, but it needs a picture of a Stratos on every page!

-"There were a copious amount..." might sound better as "There were copious amounts...".

-don't use "notorious" as a synonym for famous. It should be used to say something was evilly famous

-capitalize "fall" in paragraph 2, like the season

-"Along with Felicr Nazzaro as a test driver." isn't a complete sentence

-"to honor him: Lancia."

-"The Astura, being a larger..."

-"greatest work yet: the Aprilia."

-"output of 47 bhp" - What is bhp? You and I know, but will your teacher?

- don't start a sentence with "and". Paragraph 2 page 5

- you used the word "regulation" thre times in one sentence in the last paragraph on page 5

-maybe elaborate more in your closing paragraph? What is Lancia's future outlook?

Eric the RC guy > Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS 04/30/2014 at 19:41

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Hot tip for using Wikipedia: only use passages that are cited on Wikipedia, and then just cite the original source. Let Wikipedia help to aggregate sources about a subject for you, but as Corey CC97 said, never cite Wikipedia itself.

Leadbull > Sn210 04/30/2014 at 20:01

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-Spell "three" correctly in your second to last line.

Sn210 > Leadbull 04/30/2014 at 20:20

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Damn!